Paper 2, Question 1
1a. Seacoast High School
In this high school we have high standards because we know you are capable of achieving excellence. We are a family and together we are one of the best high schools, rating 5th place in the state of Florida. We have been a grade A+ school since September, 2015. We have a graduation rate of 100%. All of our students at the end of their high school career, attend their dream college/university.
First Week of High School:
The first few days or even weeks of high school, students will feel nervous. Going from a middle schooler to a high schooler student is a big and important step to take. It is important to know that in order to be 100% in class, you have to have had a great night of sleep the night before, so go to bed early.
What to expect at Seacoast High School:
These are rules that every student is required to follow:
Dress code: Boys must wear a white collared shirt with a green tie, and green pants. Girls must wear white collared shirt with a green tie, green modest skirt, and white socks.
Backpacks: You are allowed to use any backpack of your choice, as long as it is not inappropriate.
Cell phone policy: Students are allowed to have their phones in class, however, they are expected to place their phones away in the smartphone caddy before a test or quiz.
Attendance: Every student is allowed to miss 13 days per school year. If you miss more than that we will communicate with your parent(s) or guardian(s).
Clubs & athletic activities:
Key Club, Science National Honor Society, Spanish Honor Society, Cooking Club, Art Club, Foreign Language club, etc.
Football, basketball, soccer, baseball, volleyball, tennis, etc.
More about Seacoast High School
At Seacoast High School we have a block schedule. Our block schedule helps our students focus in the classes they are taking. Our high school has two semesters, every semester has two quarters. Each semester students take 4 classes of their choice. At the beginning of high school, students are able to make the decision whether they want to take Honor classes or not. Most students at our school are honor students. Honor classes raise your overall GPA and you want your GPA to be as high as possible in order to get into a great college.
1b. Commentary:
My main goal of this leaflet was to orient new students that may not know what to expect at a high school. I achieved this goal by giving them advice on what to do the night before and what they were expected to wear. I made constant use of second person perspective because I wanted to make sure that the reader was engaged in what they were reading. Some examples of the use of second perspective in this leaflet would be, “Your overall GPA” and “you want.” I decided to give the leaflet an informal tone because in order to get the attention of a teenage audience I would have to be informal because teenagers will not want to read something too professional as it will help them feel somewhat forced. I divide my leaflet into 5 pages. Every page talks about something different. For example, “First week of high school” and “Clubs and athletic activities.” I did this because I did not want the leaflet to be repetitive. I wanted the leafled to have some type of diversity of information for the upcoming high school students. I wanted to have a different page for everything, so that students were not confused when reading the leaflet.
(Shamus)
ReplyDeleteHello Estefany, for question 1A you gave a clear expression, with a wide range of language, including some complex structures and less common lexis. You also only had a few minor errors which did not impede your communication. This is a part that you excelled in and boosted your grade a lot. Your text was clearly organized and had good developed ideas within the text. The task that you were asked to do was clearly achieved and relevant and the audience is correctly addressed throughout the text. As far as 1B I would give you a limited analysis of form, structure, and language and a clear analysis of how the writer's stylistic choices relate to the audience and shape meaning. This gives you 13 for the first section and 5 for the next section giving a grand total of 18.
Hi Estefany! I really enjoyed reading your blog.
ReplyDeleteAO2- 11 marks
Your ideas were clearly expressed and were very creative. However, some of the same sentence structure was used repeatedly, like in the first paragraph. Your leaflet is developed in an effective manner. It clearly went through the background of the high school when you said that Seacoast High School is a “grade A+” school. You then went through what was to be expected within the first week of school and then developed upon the ideas that may come later in school like the “clubs & athletic activities.” It had a really nice flow. You performed the task at hand: you wrote a leaflet, included subheadings to break up your information (“What to expect at Seacoast High School”), you used second person, and you informed the incoming students on what to expect at your high school (like when you said “these are the rules” of the school). It would be beneficial to provide more enthusiasm within your leaflet to make it even more compelling. For example, just the use of an exclamation mark at the right time can cause a lot of excitement for the reader. (Ex- This will be the most exciting time in your life!) I thought you did a great job at addressing the audience, since you used the second person. Also, the use of “we” repeatedly created a sense of community among the incoming freshman. This would make them feel more connected to the school. Lastly, watch out for missing commas. For example, put a comma after “school” in this sentence: “At Seacoast High School we have a block schedule.”
AO3- 6 marks
You did a good job at addressing all of form, structure, and language. I liked how you addressed specific ‘buzz words’ like “second person perspective” and “informal.” It would be beneficial to break up your thoughts into short paragraphs. That way, it will be very easy for the Cambridge grader to understand. Thus, they will award you points for organization. Also, your analysis has good points, but I would like you to expand more off of these points. Finally, make sure to provide an example/quote for each point. For instance, add in a quote of informal language to help your casual language argument.
-Kathryn